Life,Faith,and Disability

¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:16-17

            I often struggle with that Fact that Jesus Christ, the God and Savior of the world loves me. Yes, I can see how he might love Billy Graham, Mother Thresa, David Ring, and etc. But me? I can be unlovable yet his Word says he never stops loving me. That makes me want to seek him so much more. It also teaches me to love those around me when there at their worst. If a person would live loved there’s nothing that would stop them from being who God has made them to be, no matter what their circumstances are. The first step is to truly grasp that Jesus loves you. It’s not how much time you spend praying, how long you study your Bible, or if you go to church that make him love you more or less. I pray, read scripture, and go to church because He loves me and I love Him. He loves you and me and proved that by going to the cross for our sins. Every wrong thing I did or will do was place upon him so I can be free to have an everlasting relationship with him forever. One that starts on this side of heaven and will carry me to that great day when I seeing him face to face.  I been praying that God would help me realize how much he loves me because I want to lived loved. I want the joy in my heart to be able to be seen on my face, so people might be better for knowing me, and would know Christ is the TRUTH. I have to fight everyday to grasp His love, because of my upbringing and past I can be negative, but God has taught me as long as I focus on him my head is lifted up and he’ll help me face anything. The one thing that effects me from feeling loved is  how satan as used an event in my life from my past to get me to doubt God. When I was seventeen, I was raped by a friend of mine and it tore me apart. To this day I fight the feeling that says I’m not a real man or worth anything. I wasn’t a Christian when this happen so I turned to porn to prove I was straight and was a man. I was filled with depression, anger, and darkness. I was a virgin when I got married but the rape and the trappings of porn made me feel tainted. But it is only by the the Love of Christ that I been set free from that hurt and pain. His love is what keeps me from falling to despair and keeping the old me from coming back. When I feel the old me coming back or those temptations rise, I run to him for strength. I guess the reason I have decided to go public with my rape and the issue with porn, is because I want others to find the healing that is in Jesus Christ.He took the broken pieces of my life and made me whole.In fact, He made me a new creation. And I want people  to know that God doesn’t waste one ounce of pain or a single tear drop. He has use the hurts in my life to help me to minister to others.Here’s a few verses that I run to for strength:

¹⁷Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

- 2Corinthians 5:17

    With Christ I got a clean slate and a new outlook on life. I’m a child of God and there nothing that will take that way.

³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
   ”For your sake we face death all day long;
      we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.-Romans 8:31-39

        And when it comes to the comfort I get from God,and how he uses us to bring others comfort read this:

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.-2 Corinthians 1:3-4

         I’m far from having perfect understanding about living loved, but with God’s help I’m getting closer to living out my life knowing that I’m loved by God. I pray your blessed by reading this and I want you to know your not alone. Whatever your going through, Jesus cares for you. Trust Him.

    I love working for TRIPIL, it’s been a place of blessing, empowerment,independence, and at times a place of stress for me. I care so much about our mission that on a day like this, I can be kind of stressed out and uptight. There was a few issues I had to take care of but I think I got a handle on them. I’m just thankful that I have a team of people around me that cares as much as I do about people with disabilities gaining and maintaining their independence. I just need to relax a little at work, and just be who God made me to be. I grew up around alot of my co-workers as a teen  and have great respect for them as advocates. But sometimes I try to hard to not let people down and get pulled in 100 directions. I need to stay focused on what’s important and what’s not.TRIPIL been a part of my life for ten years now, with the last two working for the CIL,and I still have alot to learn about being an advocate, but I work hard at trying to get better. I just need to chill out.

   It’s been almost 3 months since Robin and I stepped down as the youth leaders at Friendship Community Church, so I thought I’d give an update on how God is using me now. We been attending Life Point Baptist Church since leaving Friendship(Life Point is on my blog roll). Life Point is a new church plant in Washington PA lead by Aaron and Andrew Johnson. Aaron is the lead pastor and his brother Andrew leads worship. I’m excited about being apart of What God is doing and is going to do at Life Point. I started today leading the Life Point team in prayer before the service, and will be the prayer coordinator handling the prayer concerns of church members and create a prayer chain.Also, there might be an opportunity in the near future to lead a Bible study. I’m very thankful to Lord for the doors he’s opening. I needed a break from ministry but been praying for ways I can serve Him. I miss teaching Scripture, but needed time for personal time in the Word.I’m ready to step up for God, and the things I learned with leading the youth group, I’m going to take the steps not to get burned out again.

           And another thing that might be happening is I’m meeting with the senior Chaplin at the City Mission about speaking at their chapel services again. God is so awesome how he answers prayers. 

     One more thing about Life Point, Last year is the first time I met Pastor Aaron, and I know God brings people together for a reason. God gave me that vision for Friendship’s youth group, but called me to move on after 3 years. From the time Robin and I started attending Life Point, I knew that it’s where He wants us. It’s been weird and great at the same time being at a new church, but like I said already, I know God wanted us to meet and I’m looking forward to serving God together. Aaron,Andrew, and their family are serious about reaching this city for Christ, and I’m praising God for being apart of it. God is good!

From the Observer Reporter

By Barbara Miller

Often at odds over polling places they considered inaccessible to the disabled, the Tri-County Patriots for Independent Living have invited Larry Spahr, Washington County elections director, to be one of two speakers at the group’s membership luncheon next week.

Asked if this meant TRIPIL was declaring a truce in its battle with the county, Andrew Cooper, the organization’s deputy director, said Tuesday, “It means we still have an open dialogue. It was not always an open dialogue. We’re continuing to work with them, but our goal is 100 percent accessibility. That won’t change.”

Spahr said he considered the quest for completely accessible polls “always an evolving effort. You’re not going to hit 100 percent satisfaction at one time.”

With an eye on this year’s presidential election, TRIPIL conducted a survey of the majority of Washington County polling places and found many of them deficient because they lacked designated parking spaces for the disabled, ramps or door handles that could be opened by pressing a bar.

Last year, a Washington County intern measured doorway widths to determine if polling places had entrances with three feet of clearances - wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair - and evaluated other aspects of all 185 precincts.

“We compared notes,” Spahr said of TRIPIL’s and the intern’s surveys.

Scott Fergus, Washington County director of administration, said the county spent about $22,000 before the April 22 primary on hardware and mobility mats to make polling places more accessible.

Another example of the communication that developed between TRIPIL and the county was the group’s participation in eight training sessions for local election board members.

Disabled voters explained to the boards the difficulties they have experienced when attempting to vote.

For the April 22 primary election, the county appointed Joyce Thornburg as accessibility services supervisor in charge of fielding questions on the issue.

“It was quite smooth,” Thornburg said Tuesday. “Nobody called.”

Forty-four polling places potentially could pose problems for people in wheelchairs because of doorways narrower than 36 inches.

“We didn’t want to say they were inaccessible because we didn’t want to scare people away,” Fergus said.

TRIPIL also asked Spahr to review the Help America Vote Act and its significance to disabled voters. Cooper said he’s also hoping Spahr will take questions from members.

The advocacy group just completed a survey of polling places in Greene County, and it will next tackle the issue in Fayette County, Cooper said.

Also addressing the estimated 75 to 100 TRIPIL members will be Washington Mayor Sonney Spossey, who is reviving the Mayor’s Commission for Disabled Individuals.

“We have work on pulling that back together,” Spossey said. “Sometimes it takes something like this to get you going.”

19 When the cares of my heart are many,
your consolations cheer my soul.-Psalm 94:19

    It brings me great joy to know  that I can always count on God. He is always there for me no matter what I’m going through. He does give me peace of mind and heart when I rest in Him and His Word. I been down for a few weeks about differnt things going on in my life, but it’s been Jesus that has brought joy to my soul. Knowing the promises about Him always lift up my head. And right now knowing that He’s with me  is what I need most. Here’a few scriptures that I love:

14 For the Lord will not forsake his people;
he will not abandon his heritage;-Psalm 94:14

10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.-Psalm 27:10

18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in  the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”-Matthew 28:18-19

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.-Romans 8:37-39

       I guess I’m going through a valley period in my life but I know Jesus is in it with me, and He’ll be the one who will lift me to the mountain top.Whatever you’re going through trust Him for he cares for you.

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.-Romans 12:9-10

    In a earlier post I wrote about feeling like I don’t fit in anywhere, and the Lord has met me in my time of prayer and Bible Study. What He revealed to me is we are made for community and relationships. First with Him and than the family of God. Also I think we need to love everybody with the love of God, no matter who they are. Can you imagine what a family would look like if the members whould love with an genuine heart and outdo each other in showing honor?Or what a marriage would look like? friendships? The church would draw people to the cross and would mirror the God they worship. If people would apply these verses than this world would be a better place.

         As for me, with the help of the Lord I’m going to do my best to love this way. In regards to other people with disabilities I will never put them down but build them up. For we are always seen as outcasts and symbols of pity that as a man with an disability I never want to do that. I want to give disabled people hope that they can be whatever God wants them to be. I want all people to see nothing is impossible with God.

    To my brothers and sisters in Christ, even though I might feel like I don’t belong or I’m not always understood, I know in Christ I do belong, and I will do my best to show you love and build you up in your faith. To all the ones who have hurt me growing up in church since I was a kid, I forgive you cause Jesus forgave me.

   To my wife Robin, I promise to forsake all others and love you always. no other person will come between us. I pray I can be the man you deserve.

       To sum it up, all I want to do is love God and other people, even if that love is never returned by people. God bless and may you outdo someone in showing love and honor this week.

The Community Choice Act gives people real choice in long term care options by reforming Title XIX of the Social Security Act (Medicaid) by ending the institutional bias. The Community Choice Act allows individuals eligible for Nursing Facility Services or Intermediate Care Facility Services for the Mentally Retarded (ICF-MR) the opportunity to choose instead a new alternative, “Community-based Attendant Services and Supports”. The money follows the individual! In addition, by providing an enhanced match and grants for the transition to Real Choice before October 2011 when the benefit becomes permanent, the Community Choice Act offers states financial assistance to reform their long term service and support system to provide services in the most integrated setting.

Specifically, what does this bill do?

1) Provides community-based attendant services and supports ranging from assistance with:

• activities of daily living (eating, toileting, grooming, dressing, bathing, transferring),
• instrumental activities of daily living (meal planning and preparation, managing finances, shopping, household chores, phoning, participating in the community),
• and health-related functions.

2) Includes hands-on assistance, supervision and/or cueing, as well as help to learn, keep and enhance skills to accomplish such activities.

3) Requires services be provided in THE MOST INTEGRATED SETTING appropriate to the needs of the individual.

4) Provides Community-based Attendant Services and Supports that are:

• based on functional need, rather than diagnosis or age;
• provided in home or community settings like — school, work, recreation or religious facility;
• selected, managed and controlled by the consumer of the services;
• supplemented with backup and emergency attendant services;
• furnished according to a service plan agreed to by the consumer;

that include voluntary training on selecting, managing and dismissing attendants.

5) Allows consumers to choose among various service delivery models including vouchers, direct cash payments, fiscal agents and agency providers. All models are required to be consumer controlled.

6) For consumers who are not able to direct their own care independently, the Community Choice Act allows for a individual representative to be authorized by the consumer to assist. A representative might be a friend, family member, guardian, or advocate.

7) Allows health-related functions or tasks to be assigned to, delegated to, or performed by unlicensed personal attendants, according to state laws. Covers individual transition costs from a nursing facility or ICF-MR to a home setting, for example: rent and utility deposits, bedding, basic kitchen supplies and other necessities required for the transition.

9) Serves individuals with incomes above the current institutional income limitation — if a state chooses to waive this limitation to enhance employment potential.

10) Provides for quality assurance programs which promote consumer control and satisfaction.

11) Provides for maintenance of effort assurance requirement so that states can not diminish more enriched programs already being provided.

12) Allows enhanced match (up to 90% Federal funding) for individuals whose costs exceed 150% of average nursing home costs.

13) Between 2005 and 2009, after which the services become permanent, provides enhanced matches (10% more federal funds each) for states which:

• begin planning for activities for changing their long term care systems, and/or Community-based Attendant Services and Supports in their Medicaid State Plan
• include Community-based Attendant Services and Supports in their Medicaid State Plan.

SYSTEM CHANGE
14) Provides grants for Systems Change Initiatives to help the states transition from current institutionally dominated service systems to ones more focused on community based services and supports, guided by a Consumer Task Force.

15) Calls for national 5 -10 year demonstration project, in 5 states, to enhance coordination of services for non-elderly individuals dually eligible for Medicaid AND Medicare.

  I think I’m burned out from a week of some serious advocacy with over 500 other people with disabilities in D.C. but I’m hurting right now. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. It was very powerful to be around so many people with disabilities but even among my peers I felt alone. It’s true  that I have cerebral palsy but I feel sometimes that others who are disabled don’t consider me disabled because I can walk. And among people who are  able-bodied it’s clear that I’m disabled. Add the fact that I have never felt comfortable among any Christian circles I been in,I’m always torn trying to discover who I am. I write this because even though I been a youth pastor I want kids to know that even adults struggle with stuff.

     The only peace I get is know that I belong to God and He loves me.

18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. 21 But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. -John 15:18-19

     The only thing I know is I’m going to try to love people the way God loves me. I never want to make people feel the way I feel right now. I know God will help me through this. God Bless.

      This past week I was in Washington D.C. with ADAPT. It was my first national ADAPT action and it was awesome.  Nothing is more powerful than seeing around 500 people with disabilities hit the streets of D.C. to bring awareness to the issues that effect our lives.

     One of the pressing issues is seeing the community choice act getting passed into law. It would give people more choices of attendant care services in their own homes rather having to go to a nursing home.Check out www.adapt.orgfor more info on the Community Choice Act. Therefore, On Tuesday April 29th about 250 ADAPT activist fillied Sen. John McCain’s office in the Russell Senate building seeking his support of the community choice act. I was one of the 250 that day, and in fact I was one of 24 who made it in his office. I did not exspect when I woke up that day I would put myself in a posistion to get arrested but the leader God has called me to be would not allow me to stay in the back of the marching line. After lunch I prayed about it and went up to my leaders and said I was willing to stay up front with them. We enter the Russell building and at first just a leader and myself made it into McCain’s office. Than about 22  more ADAPTers came rolling in. So why direct actoin? Because it works! Why not writing letters? Because we didn’t get any response back. Protesting is always the last option taken after all other paths have been taken to just get caught in political red tape and empty promises. Why McCain? Because of the three running for President, he has not signed on as an co-sponsor to the community choice act. So, How does He respond to our request for support? He has 40 of us arrested. We were there for more than five hours before the cops started arresting. McCain’s staff kept lying to us about trying to set up an meeting with him,and by the end of the night the cops removed everybody but us 24. We started to chant, ” I rather go to jail, than die in a nursing home!”

           One by one they arrested us, and right before they got to me I prayed,”Father, please let this be worth it. may I not go to jail for nothing.Amen.” And when I thought of all the people with disabilities stuck in a nursing home dying, being raped, and negelected I knew it was worth it. I know some Christians might look down on me, but I only care about what the Lord thinks, and He wanted me there in that room.If MLK Jr. can go to jail I can to.

DNC Chairman Howard Dean issued the following statement:

“At a time when John McCain is on the campaign trail talking about health
care choices, he refuses to explain why he opposes a bill that would let
Americans with disabilities choose how and where to live, work and receive
care.  I am proud to lead a Party that supports the fundamental right of
every single American to make his or her own choices about where to live
and work.  Apparently John McCain and his staff would rather let activists
get arrested outside his office than explain his position on this critical
issue.  John McCain is either profoundly out of touch with the needs and
challenges confronting Americans with disabilities or just doesn’t care.
Either way, he’s the wrong choice for Americas future.”

  I am not endorsing any party on this blog, ADAPT only cares about fighting for civil rights of people with disabilities, and if McCain was a democrat we would of taken the same action.